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Jan 17, 2024 Reporting from Niles, MI

Jan 17, 2024

Jan 17, 2024

Grief and the New Year

SpectrumHealth Lakeland

Grief and the New Year

SpectrumHealth Lakeland

https://www.spectrumhealthlakeland.org/ResourcePackages/SpectrumHealth/assets/img/sh_white_logo.png

“If you are early in the grief process, you may feel raw and overwhelmed. One of the common grief experiences is to feel anxiety as “special days” approach. While grief over time may shift in its intensity and texture, this type of grief reaction is not unusual though it is uncomfortable.” ~ Heather Stang Grief In The New Year: 6 Mindful Tips To Cope With Loss (mindfulnessandgrief.com)

Many who are grieving approach the holidays as something to survive, endure or get through regardless of where you are on your grief journey. And just as we come up for air after Thanksgiving and Christmas, New Year’s is just around the corner and swiftly approaching. Participants have stated how they struggle with anticipating a new year without their person. Not knowing where to begin, what to focus on or moving forward without their person. Just not knowing how to cope with it all. Sound familiar?

So how does one cope with their feelings about Grief in this New Year? Heather Stang, author of Mindfulness & Grief and From Grief to Peace, shares 6 Tips to Cope with Grief in the New Year.

1. Focus on self-compassion and self-care instead of self-improvement: If you are grieving in the new year, you may want to skip the typical New Year’s resolutions and instead focus on self-care for your grieving mind, body, and spirit. Don’t add to your suffering by trying to attain an unrealistic goal. Instead, treat yourself as you would a beloved friend in the same position.
2. Create your own mantra to replace “Happy New Year.”: The idea of being happy is a bridge too far from where you are right now. Instead of feeling bad for not feeling happy, or angry that someone would assume you could feel happy, use these three ubiquitous words as a reminder to send yourself compassion.
3. Know that you are not leaving your loved one behind: When you cross the threshold of a new year without your special person by your side, it can feel like you are leaving them behind. Yes, the annual change of the calendar is a marker that time is passing, but you will never forget your special person, no matter how many years go by.
4. Prioritize your grief work with your new calendar: Instead of just scheduling things you have to do, use your new calendar to plan what you need to do to support yourself this year. While none of us have a crystal ball, most people find holidays and anniversaries especially challenging. Record them on your calendar, and plan how you want to spend those special days. And knowing what you are going to do on these special grief-days may help reduce your anxiety. Whether scheduling coffee over Zoom with a supportive friend on your loved one's birthday or joining a wider circle of friends and family to reminisce on the anniversary of their death, be sure to connect with others unless you really prefer to spend time alone.
5. Steady your mind in the present with meditation: The human brain is rarely fully present, and this is especially true when we are grieving. The reality, of course, is that we can’t control the passing of time, but we can control what we do with our attention.
6. Join a compassionate grief group or community for compassionate support and practical tools: Time with people who understand you is one of the most helpful things you can do on your grief journey. In times of grief it is normal to feel alone and not understood by people around you. While not everyone experiences this, if it sounds familiar, you need to find your tribe. While not all groups will focus on a specific type of loss, the collective grief experience when shared with compassionate friends is very healing.

*Excerpts from Grief In The New Year: 6 Mindful Tips To Cope With Loss (mindfulnessandgrief.com)

If you are grieving a death, support is available. Please contact us at 269.983.2707. We’re always here and available to listen. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for online support and inspiration, and you can always find us at www.lorysplace.org.

Wishing you a peaceful and safe New Year!

The Lory’s Place Team

P.S. We will be changing up the format of our newsletter so stay tuned.

Grief and the New Year

by Lory's Place | Jan 17, 2024   

“If you are early in the grief process, you may feel raw and overwhelmed. One of the common grief experiences is to feel anxiety as “special days” approach. While grief over time may shift in its intensity and texture, this type of grief reaction is not unusual though it is uncomfortable.” ~ Heather Stang Grief In The New Year: 6 Mindful Tips To Cope With Loss (mindfulnessandgrief.com)

Many who are grieving approach the holidays as something to survive, endure or get through regardless of where you are on your grief journey. And just as we come up for air after Thanksgiving and Christmas, New Year’s is just around the corner and swiftly approaching. Participants have stated how they struggle with anticipating a new year without their person. Not knowing where to begin, what to focus on or moving forward without their person. Just not knowing how to cope with it all. Sound familiar?

So how does one cope with their feelings about Grief in this New Year? Heather Stang, author of Mindfulness & Grief and From Grief to Peace, shares 6 Tips to Cope with Grief in the New Year.

1. Focus on self-compassion and self-care instead of self-improvement: If you are grieving in the new year, you may want to skip the typical New Year’s resolutions and instead focus on self-care for your grieving mind, body, and spirit. Don’t add to your suffering by trying to attain an unrealistic goal. Instead, treat yourself as you would a beloved friend in the same position.
2. Create your own mantra to replace “Happy New Year.”: The idea of being happy is a bridge too far from where you are right now. Instead of feeling bad for not feeling happy, or angry that someone would assume you could feel happy, use these three ubiquitous words as a reminder to send yourself compassion.
3. Know that you are not leaving your loved one behind: When you cross the threshold of a new year without your special person by your side, it can feel like you are leaving them behind. Yes, the annual change of the calendar is a marker that time is passing, but you will never forget your special person, no matter how many years go by.
4. Prioritize your grief work with your new calendar: Instead of just scheduling things you have to do, use your new calendar to plan what you need to do to support yourself this year. While none of us have a crystal ball, most people find holidays and anniversaries especially challenging. Record them on your calendar, and plan how you want to spend those special days. And knowing what you are going to do on these special grief-days may help reduce your anxiety. Whether scheduling coffee over Zoom with a supportive friend on your loved one's birthday or joining a wider circle of friends and family to reminisce on the anniversary of their death, be sure to connect with others unless you really prefer to spend time alone.
5. Steady your mind in the present with meditation: The human brain is rarely fully present, and this is especially true when we are grieving. The reality, of course, is that we can’t control the passing of time, but we can control what we do with our attention.
6. Join a compassionate grief group or community for compassionate support and practical tools: Time with people who understand you is one of the most helpful things you can do on your grief journey. In times of grief it is normal to feel alone and not understood by people around you. While not everyone experiences this, if it sounds familiar, you need to find your tribe. While not all groups will focus on a specific type of loss, the collective grief experience when shared with compassionate friends is very healing.

*Excerpts from Grief In The New Year: 6 Mindful Tips To Cope With Loss (mindfulnessandgrief.com)

If you are grieving a death, support is available. Please contact us at 269.983.2707. We’re always here and available to listen. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for online support and inspiration, and you can always find us at www.lorysplace.org.

Wishing you a peaceful and safe New Year!

The Lory’s Place Team

P.S. We will be changing up the format of our newsletter so stay tuned.