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Lory's Place is here to support you in person or virtually with articles, tips, and activities that will help you on your grief journey.

If you are grieving a death and think a support group might be for you, please contact us at 269.983.2707. We’re always here and available to listen. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram  for more grief content, and you can always find us at lorysplace.org
 

 

Grief Healing Newsletter
Aug 31, 2023 Reporting from Niles, MI
Aug 31, 2023
Things to Say or Do for a Grieving Person

Things to Say or Do for a Grieving Person

SpectrumHealth Lakeland

A common reaction from those who are bearing witness to someone else’s grief is to avoid conversation altogether out of fear of saying or doing the “wrong” thing.  It can be difficult to find the right words or know what to do when someone is grieving but being honest and allowing them to be heard is a good start.

“It is not your job to help your person stop grieving. Your job as a support person is not to cheer them up. It’s to help them feel heard.” – Megan Devine, grief consultant 

Be honest.

The most important thing is letting your loved one know you’re there.

“I wish I had the right words. Please know that I care, and I’m here for you.”

“I don’t know what to say, but I love you so much, and I want you to feel heard.”

“I’m unsure of what to say, but I’m here to listen if you need me.”

Embrace their feelings.

People want to feel both heard and understood. Validating what they’re feeling and experiencing can help them to feel less alone.

“Want to talk about what happened?” Many people avoid this question, but it helps the griever to explain it, if they desire, and having a compassionate ear can help them process it.

“How have you been?”

“I can’t imagine how you feel.” Then be silent and allow them to tell you about their feelings.

Just be present.

“I’m here for you.”

Better yet, if there is something specific they need, ask if you can do it for them.

Give them a hug instead of saying something.

Continue connecting.

Share a memory about the person who died.

Keep reaching out to let them know you are there and they are not alone.

Those who are grieving need support long after the funeral is over.

“Grief is not a problem to be solved, it’s an experience to be carried.” – Megan Devine

If you are grieving a death and think a support group might be for you, please contact us at 269.983.2707. We’re always here and available to listen. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for online support and inspiration, and you can always find us at lorysplace.org.

Wishing you peace, comfort and moments of joy,

The Corewell Health Lory’s Place Team

Things to Say or Do for a Grieving Person
by Lory's Place | Aug 31, 2023    Share


A common reaction from those who are bearing witness to someone else’s grief is to avoid conversation altogether out of fear of saying or doing the “wrong” thing.  It can be difficult to find the right words or know what to do when someone is grieving but being honest and allowing them to be heard is a good start.

“It is not your job to help your person stop grieving. Your job as a support person is not to cheer them up. It’s to help them feel heard.” – Megan Devine, grief consultant 

Be honest.

The most important thing is letting your loved one know you’re there.

“I wish I had the right words. Please know that I care, and I’m here for you.”

“I don’t know what to say, but I love you so much, and I want you to feel heard.”

“I’m unsure of what to say, but I’m here to listen if you need me.”

Embrace their feelings.

People want to feel both heard and understood. Validating what they’re feeling and experiencing can help them to feel less alone.

“Want to talk about what happened?” Many people avoid this question, but it helps the griever to explain it, if they desire, and having a compassionate ear can help them process it.

“How have you been?”

“I can’t imagine how you feel.” Then be silent and allow them to tell you about their feelings.

Just be present.

“I’m here for you.”

Better yet, if there is something specific they need, ask if you can do it for them.

Give them a hug instead of saying something.

Continue connecting.

Share a memory about the person who died.

Keep reaching out to let them know you are there and they are not alone.

Those who are grieving need support long after the funeral is over.

“Grief is not a problem to be solved, it’s an experience to be carried.” – Megan Devine

If you are grieving a death and think a support group might be for you, please contact us at 269.983.2707. We’re always here and available to listen. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for online support and inspiration, and you can always find us at lorysplace.org.

Wishing you peace, comfort and moments of joy,

The Corewell Health Lory’s Place Team

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Home Activities

Here are some creative grief activities for adults, children or families that can be done at home.

Forget Me Not Activity (PDF)

Memory Mask Activity (PDF)

Positive Post-Its Activity (PDF)

Questions from Quarantine Activity (PDF)

Support Chain Activity (PDF)

Wish Keeper Activity (PDF)